Can you trust such a fat and unfit policeman to maintain security in your country? I just can't understand how can he still be the traffic police in first place! Maybe he should be in the office doing paper work or something extra he gained from elsewhere to make him so FAT!

Hey Botak Syed Hamid. Why are you employing a person who is unfit to do his job? Really "no eyes to see".



Source: Malaysiakini.com

Well, trying to impress girls is one thing. Getting your pal off his chair is another. Most guys will do everything to impress a pretty babe coming towards them. This fatty was trying to hide his super huge belly by sucking in. Hahaha...I can't imagine myself to have such a big tummy! My girlfriend will definitely kill me! =)

There's something wrong with the Coke's advertisement picture. After a more detailed inspection, there's a girl's face with her mouth wide open waiting for something (which looks like a penis). Interesting huh?

[via Buzz]

Just finished reading newspaper and found that this write up is true and funny. Kids can really do the darnedest things on earth! Read this:

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, Martin was interrupted by a little girl of about six years.

Looking up and down at his uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?"

"Yes," Martin answered and continued writing the report.

"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?"

"Yes, that's right!" Martin said.

"Well, then," she said, "would you please tie my shoe?"

Kids....

I'm sure that many of people knew that after the episode he had with Xiaxue over being named the most disgusting blogger in Singapore, Steven Lim landed himself in a secret record deal. Yes, I'm not KIDDING!

Mr. Kenny Sia from kennysia.com recorded this exclusive LEAKED song from Steven Lim's brand new album. Check it out.

Click here to download MP3

Enjoy the Song!

I can't stop laughing looking at the way she says WHATEVER. She is just so cute and innocent. She reminds me of my youngest sister when she was about that age. lol

3 ladies were on a flight. Suddenly the pilot informed them that there was a technical problem and the plane was going to crash into the sea.

A Chinese lady quickly took her cosmetics set out and started to doll herself up. A Malay lady beside her questioned her on her actions. The Chinese lady replied that if she looked beautiful, the guys coming to rescue survivors could usually save the pretty ladies first.

On hearing this, the Malay lady started to put on all her jewelleries. An Indian woman sitting beside the Malay lady was curious and questioned her. The Malay lady said that the rescuers would save her because she would easily be identified by the glitter of her jewels.

Then the Indian woman started taking her clothes off.

Both the Chinese and Malay ladies were shocked and questioned her. The Indian woman then replied that rescue teams do not usually look for survivors. They usually look for the "Black Box" first!

Last Tuesday, my boss treated me to lunch at Hotel Windsor nearby my office. Saw this funny sign board near the exit at the back of the hotel. It says "BEWARE. Guard dogs on patrol during HOURS of DARKNESS".

What does HOURS of DARKNESS mean? Hahaha...shouldn't it be "Guard dogs on patrol at NIGHT"?

On the very first day of the world, God created the cow.

He said to the cow:
"Ah Gu (cow), today I have created you!
Your job is to go to the field with the farmer all day long.
You will provide the energy to pull things!
You will also provide milk for people to drink!
You are to work all day under the sun! In return, you will only eat grass.
For that, you will have a life span of 50 years."
Ah Gu objected.
"What.. I work all day in the sun and I get only to eat grass!
On top of that, I have to give my milk away!
This is tough and you want me to live 50 years!
I'll take 20 and you can have the remaining 30 years back!" God agreed..

On the next day, God created the dog.
He said to the dog.
"Ah Kow (dog), I have created you for a purpose.
You are to sit all day by the door of your master's house!
Should anyone come in, you are to bark at them!
In return, you will eat your master's leftovers.
I'll give you a life span of 20 years."
Ah Kow objected. " What! I have to sit by the door all day and will need
to bark at people, and what do
I get ... LEFTOVERS...
This isn't right, I'll take 10 and you can have the remaining 10 years
back!" God agreed again.

On the third day, God created the monkey.
He said to the monkey.
"Lao Kao (monkey), your job is
to entertain people.
You will make them laugh, act stupid and make faces!
You will also do somersaults and swing on trees to amaze them.
In return, you will get to eat bananas and peanuts.
For that, I'll give you 20 years to live."
Naturally the monkey objected.
"This is ridiculous, I gotta make faces and make people laugh?
Let's not even come to the part about the trees and somersaults.
Tell you what, I'll give 10 years of my life to thank you for my
existence and I'll take 10.
What do you think?" God agreed again.

On the forth day, God created humans.
God said to the man.
"You are my best piece of work, for that, you will only need to
sleep, eat, sleep, play, eat, sleep again and do nothing else.
You will get to eat all the best things and play with the best toys.
All you need to do is enjoy all your life. For this kinda of life, I'll give
you 20 years."
Just like the rest, the man objected.
"What, all I need to do is relax and enjoy myself and I have only
20 years to live?
Tell you what, you've 30 years back from Ah Gu, 10 years from
Ah Kow and another 10 from Lao Kao and you probably don't know
what to do with all those lifes.
Why not I take them all and I'll have 70 years to live?"
God being such good natured, agreed with a smile.....

AND THAT IS WHY.....
We eat, sleep, play and enjoy for the first 20 years of our lives
when we are growing up.
Work like a cow for the next 30 to raise our family.
Sit outside the door and wait for our children to come home for
the next 10 when we are retired.
And finally, we make faces and perform monkey tricks to entertain
our grandchildren for the final 10 years.

GET IT ?????

Have a good laugh... and that makes you younger for another 10
years....

I've just saw this video from kukujiao.com (kukujiao = cock or dick). It's ridiculously funny how people can have sex on a dark street. Their skin colour is black too! I guess it's hard to notice them if you didn't point a flash light at them. This also explains why India has high POPULATION!

Ok. After the frustrating afternoon, it's time to have a laugh to cool down. Here's a TV Interview of a man who shares about a surgery which his doctor accidentally removed his testicle. This video is in Dutch but don't worry. There's English subtitles for you to read. Laugh out loud together with me!

It's funny how you can use Maths to determine where's the father is. Watch this video to fine out more.

Koo zhar wu chee ay char bor kia,
Singalella.

She got two sisters, but the
stepmarder and the
sisters all damn guai-lan, so she
quite jia-lat
oso.

Last time Singalella got own maid, but
now she
become the amah.

Everyday must cook lah, clean lah,
simi sai mah
bao-kah-liao.

If her sister say liak kar zhuak, she
liak.

Tak jit zho kah tau-hin.

CPF poon boh.

But then, kay piak eh ah-pek got one
son call Ah
Ming got party.

So he say, "oii, long chong lai ah."

Singalella very happy because she
never go party
before but then her step-marder
say, "lim nama
eh-
sai kee, this one bahru lu eh sisters
wu standard."

Then Singalella must zho sui-sui for
her sisters
and step-marder.

da pai how, buay zhia, buay koon and
buay pang-
sai.

That night she only can wave bye bye
and then
she go back to the kitchen and cook
Maggi mee.

Her neighbour came over and ask, "Eh,
an-zhua le
boh kee party?"

So Singaalella kong, "I-wan, laobu
kong buay-sai,
so boh bian"

She never expect but the neighbour
say, "Aiyah,
kee lah, I give you money."

So singalella brush teef and zhang-
zhui, chen-kor,
after that look very different.

She quickly run to opposite of the beh-
chia-lor,
already 11 o'clock.

At the party, Ah Ming also quite sian
because the
char bor all boh sui one.

Dance floor even got one ah pek
dancing.

Just as Ah Ming told himself, "Aiyah
see-pay zhia-
lat", Singalella came in.

Ah Ming straight away lau nuar.

"Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng ah, chee kor
buay
pai."

Ah Ming say to Singalella, "eh, sui
eh, wah ai kah
lee zho flen!"

Singalella say ok but Ah Ming like
octopus, touch
here touch there.

But then just it was 12 o'clock, one
ah pek die on
the dance floor.

He become ghost and tell Singalella
all the good
4D number.

So after that Singalella quickly go
and buy 4D, and
then tiok tau-pio, zhit-pak ban.

So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-
kay-poh and
then kah kee cho sen-lee.

Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai.

A man and his wife were in a court for their divorce case.
The Problem was who should get custody of the child.

The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought The child into the world with all the pain and labor.

The child Should be in my custody. "

The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to Say in your defense?"

The man sat for a while contemplating. ..then slowly rose. "Your Honor... If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi Comes out...

Whose Pepsi is it... The machine's or mine?"

I this morning I read something funny on the newspaper. Here there are:

TWO guys were walking down the street and the first guy glanced at a girl who was walking by. She turned around and said indignantly: "What are you looking at?"

The second guy pointed to his friend and said: "He thought you were good-looking. But he was mistaken."

A man and his wife were returning from a party one evening. As the couple was driving home, she asked her husband: "Honey, has anyone ever old you how handsome, sexy and irressistible to woman you are?"

Totally flattered, he replied: "No, dear, they haven't."

At that point she yelled: "The what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?"

Have a laugh and hope you had a great day.

You know you are getting marvellously mature when:

1) Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

2) Happy hour is a nap.

3) You're on holliday and your energy runs out before your money.

4) You say something to your kids that you hated your mother saying.

5) The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.

6) It takes twice as long to look half as good.

7) Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

8) You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

9) You woke up very early in the morning for an appointment with someone only to realize the meeting is two days later.

10)You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.

There are many rappers wanna be out there nowadays. Some are really good. Some sucks big time. But this guy from *edited* Muar Johor did a really good rap song about his hometown. And it's funny too. Check it out!



*edit = Ma po is Muar. Mistaken earlier*

Sometimes I find it hard to keep up with the constant updating of my blogs because of my busy work schedule. But I still love to type and note down my stuff online. If one day I want to quit job for blogging, I might consider using the resignation template below:

After thinking twice, I think I better not using it. Hahaha...

Not recommended for people who wants to type their resignation letter.

via: Cheeseyland

Is Jay Chou really getting married? Anyway, this is a funny flash animation which use the Nintendo Mario game idea of rescuing princess. Haha...hope you enjoy!